This is going to be a long way to go for a metaphor, so bear with me.
Do you remember when Melissa Ethridge and her wife made a baby using David Crosby’s sperm? Now imagine that Ethridge is actually Steve Harris, he’s married to Chuck Billy and that genetic material came from Riot’s Thundersteel album. That’s an approximation of the sound of Long Live Heavy Metal, the fifth studio record from British Columbia’s 3 Inches of Blood.
The good news about Metal is that is sounds like old school heavy metal. The bad news is that it sounds like old school heavy metal (like, exactly). I’m not sure if it’s a genre limitation or if I just spent too much time with the classic albums 3 Inches are riffing on, but I can’t help but hear specific bits from the metal and thrash that I grew up on. The classic Riot shuffle guitar riff with double bass pounding behind it launches into a bridge from Seventh Son of a Seventh Son then straight to the guitar solo from “Blessed in Contempt” (on Practice What You Preach), and that’s just during the last minute of “Storming Juno”. I love Alex Skolnik and Adrian Smith too, but seriously.
That being said, Metal is actually a good record on the assumption you can get over the the recycling and old metal tropes (as an example, the awesomely-titled “Die For Gold (Upon the Boiling Sea IV)” ends with an extended chant of “Die!”). Cam Pipes does have his namesake, though his high-pitched gravel puts him more in the territory of Exodus than Iron Maiden. The two-guitar attack is more than competent, and there is a distinction between their soloing styles (though a thin one). Production-wise, Metal is crisp, with a very clear and balanced mix. Too many of the old songs that 3 Inches invoke sounded like they had mud on the tape, so it’s refreshing to hear the genre done in modern digital.
Song-wise, 3 Inches are best when they’re either breaking their style slightly or going full gonzo into cheeky retro-ness. The best of the latter is “Leather Lord”, a classic thrash with horribly trite lyrics about whip cracking and other fantasy / BDSM images. ”Men of Fortune” rambles through a number of styles in its seven and a half minutes, including a solemn, atmospheric bridge that feels nice in the middle of the crunch. On that note, the instrumental break “Chief and the Blade” carries an almost country-folk vibe in its acoustic and flute, and comes off something like a metal cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain”. They also have a knack for stealing riffs from the first LA Guns record then turning them metal with a burst of double bass (see “Look Out” and “Men of Fortune”).
In summation, Long Live Heavy Metal is exactly what its title promises: a tribute to the gods of old, delivered by men who don’t just listen to metal – they live metal.
Final Grade: B+. While a lot of fun and very well crafted, Long Live Heavy Metal is just slightly too obviously derivative to be great. As a genre piece, though, it could be used to introduce the new generation to the classics. Download “Leather Lord”, “Chief and the Blade”, and “Men of Fortune”.
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